Doing "it"

Saturday, March 17, 2007

You're all filthy, because of course, I meant writing.

Carrie (the other person who writes on this blog, obviously, do try to keep up) and I were discussing the AbsoluteWrite Writer's Retreat that's happening next year, and what we're actually going to write during the whole stay.

I made the comment that the thing about writer's retreats is, it's the only place where two people can come out of a darkened room looking messy and exhausted and very happy and people whoop and cheer and catcall...because they assumed they finished a book.

Carrie, who is wiser than I, pointed out that it's much more likely that they would believe it was sex, pure sex, regardless of if we brought out three hundred pages of manuscript and were stained with ink. She's right, of course.

TSUKI: Whoa! The bare-backed tango!

PETE: The what...?

RLLGTHUNDER: You got it on!

CARRIE: Yeah! On paper! Finally!

SPOOKY: Neat! How did it feel!

PETE: Great! It was like a big release! It was good to finally get it out!

HAGGIS: You dog! You DOG! Way to go!

CARRIE: It was longer than I expected!

PETE: Me too!

TSUKI: .....what?

PETE: But we got it where it needed to go, in the end!

HAGGIS: That tends to happen!

SPOOKY: WHOOO!

CARRIE: Now we just gotta figure out who else wants it.

DEAD SILENCE.

HAGGIS: Um. Er. Um. What?

CARRIE: Silly. We can't keep it all to ourselves. It's too good for that.

TSUKI: Neat!

PETE: I know! Now we just have to find a publisher!

THE RETURN OF DEAD SILENCE.

SPOOKY: Well, I mean, Hugh Hefner might know some...

PETE: Yeah! They put out a magazine after all!

THE SON OF DEAD SILENCE.

TSUKI: That magazine is hot!

DEAD SILENCE AND LAUREL & HARDY MEET THE WOLFMAN

PETE: So anyway, who wants to get their hands on it first! You guys got first crack!

CARRIE: I'm just glad to be done writing!

DEAD SILENCE IN 3-D

14 Angst(s):

Carrie said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

I'm not sure what it says about us that we hang around with these perverts, though...

writerterri said...

Ha ha ha!

Hi, dorks! This is a great blog site.

Tsuki said...

What I find saddening about this post is that it acts as a premonition....


:D Heeheehee

Pete said...

It IS a premonition! We're gonna get TONS of writing done! We'll write all night without breaks! I'm a writing machine!

Rllgthunder said...

You got it ON!

I have the feeling I might have said that somewhere else....

Tsuki said...

Pete-

I'm afraid that isn't the story I heard from your wife. She said, "Sure, he writes, but he always finishes too quickly. He puts a lot of effort into it, but in the end it just isn't enough..."

:D

It's a little scary to think of how neurotic this retreat is going to be-
"I finished 2000 words!"

Hooray! Let's go get drunk!

"I've been drunk for the past 40 years!"
Well, let's have a write-off then!

"Oh, that sounds awesome. Let's do this thing!"


And then, we'll end up having grammar fights-

"'Towards' is NOT grammatically correct! It's jarring and sounds amateurish! 'Toward' is what you should use."

But they're BOTH correct, it's based purely on preference. Look, I can pull up my sources if you want me to!

"Go get your bloody sources and we'll settle this thing once and for all!"

While I'm looking up my sources, what's the different between 'alright' and 'all right'?

*20 minutes later*

"Watch the flying chairs!"

Ow, my face! All right, enough already!

"It's 'alright', and I agree!"

Pete said...

You're assuming we're going to be that interesting and vehement about anything. Carrie also pointed out (because she is either more realistic, or has less faith in you lot than I beatifically do) that we'll all sit around in awkward silence for twenty minutes...and then go chat on the forums.

Tsuki said...

Heeheeheehee.

"So, um... How about that thread about spotting a scammer?"

Oh, it was good. You, know, it was...helpful.

"Yeah...."

Yeah...

"Want me to send you a PM?"

Yeah!

"Kay, see you on the forums!"

*both people run into their hotel rooms and resume posting*

We really are a sad bunch, but that's what's going to be fun about it. I bet we only have cold feet for a little while- I know I'm really excited about meeting some of the other AWers, and I can't be the only one.

...I'll be pissed if I'm the only one in there trying to chat up a storm.

Pete said...

Well, I certainly don't have cold feet. I worked retail for too long to be unable to strike up a conversation with people I don't know who are of questionable sanity. Hell, I can make you buy a TV that you didn't want, for that matter.

Not that I'll be hawking very many TVs at this thing...

Carrie said...

Let's not forget the main attraction, when the Second Son of God appears and shows us the Stone Tablets with The Right Way To Write and we all either denounce our sinning ways or get banished to the FAQ forum for all eternity.

They don't even have PHENTERMINE there. *shudder*

Pete said...

Talk like that spreads alarm and despondency!

Tsuki said...

Pete-

Please talk me into buying a TV. I could really use a good one....

But don't be obvious, because I'll do to you what I do to the door-to-door business men (I have a lovely tannery in the basement).

:D

I don't have cold feet at all. I'll be jumping all over everyone, "Who are you? I'm Tsuki! Let's grab lunch!"

I'm usually not much of a people person, but AW brings out the social butterfly in me.

Well, okay, it's more of a social moth, really. It'll eat your clothing, fly into lights, and can be repelled using mothballs.

Pete said...

Social butterfly maybe, but that's until we meet in person.

"Hey, Tsuki, what's up! Glad to meet you!"

"hi"

"How you doing??"

"fine"

"Want to go hang out? Wanna write a short story? Wanna go PARTY HARDY!?"

"no"

"Oh....kay."

"yes"

"I'm going to go talk to Carrie."

"yes"

"Bye."

"yes"

Tsuki said...

Heeeheehee. Actually, I do pretty well when meeting people I actually want to meet. Sometimes I get a little over affectionate though (no, not quite that affectionate, perv.)

"Hi, Tsuki! How are you?"

"...." *glomp, squeeze*

"Oh, my, um, hi!"

*squeezeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

"Ugh..di..um...gah...jikkd!"